Never say never
8 years ago Shaili Desai 4
It’s been a tough time. I think I am having a mid-20s crisis, if there’s anything like that. Probably it’s caused by having too many expectations of what life should be. Sometimes I think the MICA hangover still continues. Or maybe there is no cure for one.
Some of my batch mates would probably scoff at me and try to reaffirm the idea that they still lead cool lives and are doing exactly what they wanted to do. Or at least keep up the pretense on Facebook.
But then I wonder, has MICA spoiled me? I find it still absolutely impossible to move on. I still want to have the same freedom of thought, the optimism of there being a world outside which was just waiting for me to step out and be conquered and the same life style, which I now realize is not quite possible. What I miss most is the time I had to do nothing but what I like. The things I love doing. I now realize that the world is not conquerable. In fact it is stubborn and difficult, amazingly selfish and self absorbed. In effect, it doesn’t give a shit.
Much of what life keeps on bringing is beyond my control.
How do you deal with the world forcing you to make decisions which you are not ready for? It almost feels like slowly sinking into quick sand.
What’s the point that I am trying to make, you’d ask now, reaching the point where you see no sense in wasting time reading this?
I guess this is a way for apologizing to myself for having stopped doing what I love. I am sorry, books and a lot more, for ignoring you since some time. I am sorry but I am just finding it hard to focus right now. Have I fallen out of love with you?
No, my dear, never. I am on my way back. I hope you’d understand.
Over and out.
But no, wait! Since I have named this post after this fantabulous and *inspiring* song by JB, here’s a youtube video of the song ‘Never Say Never‘ (:blush:, don’t judge me) featuring Jaden Smith. You need to watch it for Jaden Smith, such a kickass kid he is!
Okay, now you can go back to doing something productive like stalking people (if you’re single) or putting up Honeymoon/Karvachauth pics (if you’re married) on facebook. Bye.
Ashna Oct 29, 2014 at 4:57 am
The answer to your questions towards the end of this post lies in the post’s title. 🙂
As someone who seems to be in nearly the same phase as you, I think I know what you mean. Just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone, and this feeling is not permanent. We’ve been so used to the comfortable life of ‘belonging’ to some place since forever, that we find it hard to deal with the self-absorbed world later on. There’s so much of….. individualism, anonymity, I-don’t-care-what-you-do attitude that we simply start missing the old comfort zone, but let me tell you that there’s nothing so bad that it can make you feel so miserable, unless you allow it. If you really wish it, you can make way/space for the things you love as well. If for some time you feel you’re away from it, don’t feel bad if you can’t find a way back asap. Spend that time learning as much from what you have instead, and keep some personal time for what you love, even if it means sleeping one hour less. There’s nothing that would stop you from getting to it then. It might take time.
As for blogging, it might take a backseat for some time as you make adjustments in life, but that doesn’t mean you love it any less. Things have their own time, as well. I’m sure the blog, and your readers would understand. Just blog when you feel like it, and when you seem to have the time. Good luck. I hope you’d feel just the tiniest bit better. It’ll be okay! 🙂Reply
(PS- Have been a reader of your posts since some time, but didn’t comment before.)
Faustus Nov 01, 2014 at 7:45 pm
Books are like old friends, you may not have spoken for a long time but when you do, it seems like you were together forever. Plato platitudes platypus.Reply
Abhiroop Nov 01, 2014 at 8:49 pm
Yay BAALM is back! It is among my favourite nooks on the internet and I missed it. I have spent the best part of six months in and out of hospitals and I am all for new beginnings and starting afresh and rebooting and to ‘get busy living’ again. Go BAALM go!Reply
shreya Jan 03, 2015 at 4:13 am
Books are my best friend. I love to read anyways and go through detective and thriller books the most.Reply